How to know when a Dominant is right for you

How to know when a Dominant is right for you

Knowing when a Dominant is a right fit for you is a deeply personal and often times emotional decision. It depends greatly on your emotional, physical as well as psychological compatibility. And even then, while someone may appear to be “perfect” on paper, many other factors come into play. Here are some key signs that may indicate that you found the right Dominant for you:

Chemistry.

    Chemistry is the spark and initial attraction you feel towards someone. Sometimes it will take a little time to grow but usually it’s felt instantaneously.

    Feeling safe and secure.

    The Dominant ensures that you feel safe and secure at all times, especially during harder scenes. Consent is essential and should be clearly communicated and respected.

    Aftercare.

    The Dominant provides consistent and genuine aftercare that makes you feel good and appreciated.

    Open and honest communication.

    The Dominant communicates clearly and openly with you and expects and wants you to do the same in return. You feel comfortable expressing your needs, desires, fears and limits. You feel heard and understood. If there’s an issue or conflict, you feel comfortable bringing this up with the Dominant and they’re handled in a mature and respectful fashion.

    Trust.

    Trust is essential in any power exchange dynamic. You fully trust the Dominant to not only keep you safe but to properly care for your well being. You feel comfortable letting go with them, particularly during more intense scenes.

    Reliable and consistent.

    The Dominant follows through on promises consistently. If rules and/or protocols are part of the dynamic, they regulate them consistently and fairly without being manipulative.

    Encourages your growth.

    The Dominant supports your growth on many levels including intellectually, emotionally and sexually. You feel like you’re a better version of yourself when and/or after you’re with them. They may push you (not your limits) but they never try to break you.

    Appreciated.

    You feel appreciated and nourished after spending time with the Dominant instead of feeling drained or depleted. You feel empowered and stronger, not weaker or broken down. You know that your Dominant views your submission as a gift and is not taken for granted.

    Mutual pleasure.

    Sometimes the pleasure in a power exchange dynamic can seem like it leans very heavily towards the Dominant’s side however even when this is the case, the submissive needs to be feeling just as much or more pleasure submitting in this way. Ensure that your kinks, fetishes and play styles are compatible and that you both enjoy the same level of intensity and protocols in scenes.

    Don’t be afraid to leave a power exchange dynamic that’s not working for you. Not everyone is going to be a good fit even though it seems like it should work. Trust yourself and your instincts when determining if this Dominant is the right one for you. The above are simply guidelines but you will know in your gut if they’re the right one for you.

    If you have any additional tips for how to determine if a Dominant is the right one for you, please take a moment to share them below. I would love to hear from you.

    Introducing the new KIP Affiliate Program

    Introducing the new KIP Affiliate Program

    I am so excited to announce that I have just put together an affiliate program for the Kinky Ink Press website. You can start earning money today whenever you promote one of my products and/or the website via your website, blog posts and/or social media posts.

    I created this program after someone reached out to me wanting to be an affiliate and I thought it was a great idea. now I’m passing on this opportunity to you.

    Joining the affiliate program will give you access to KIP resources as well as a 10% commission on anything you sell.

    I hope you’ll join me on this exciting and kinky adventure. If you have any questions, feel free to email me at connect@kinkyinkpress.com.

    The Kinky Holiday Shopping Guide

    The Kinky Holiday Shopping Guide

    I can’t believe that the holidays are right around the corner but considering it snowed over three inches yesterday, it’s time to start shopping!

    To help you out, I put together my annual kinky holiday shopping guide. It’s filled with some new products from creators and companies I love as well as some of my most popular gift-worthy products.

    Note that some of these products are printed on demand – all wearables, some journals, anything personalized, etc. – so be sure to order early to receive them in time.

    If you already missed the shipping deadlines, don’t worry. You can always wow your person with one (or more) of the many kinky printables available.

    Please share this guide with all your kinky friends!!

    a whole collection of hot new stories for you

    a whole collection of hot new stories for you

    i just published never before seen short erotic stories and snippets from the past four years along with exclusive sneak peeks at my longer pieces on my brand new eroticwritergirl patreon. 

    i’ll be posting brand new shorts and sometimes longer pieces weekly so you seriously don’t want to miss out!

    my creative juices have been flowing lately. you’ll want to see what i’m up to next.

    if you have any story ideas and/or themes, you’d love me to write about, respond to this email and let me know! who knows – i may even dedicate it to you.

    The struggle is real

    The struggle is real

    Today I posted on my Instagram account how I may not be there for very much longer. This isn’t a decision I’m making but one Instagram is making. Over the past couple of months, Instagram has suspended my Kinky Ink Press account twice and deactivated it once – all for indiscretions I didn’t do. I’ve been able to reactivate it each time but, honestly, I’m not sure for how much longer.

    I’m getting a little tired of waking up to these notices and having to jump through hoops to keep the account active. I’m not sure how long until they deactivate the account altogether.

    It’s rough being a kink-oriented business in today’s society. I strive to keep my posts as clean and unoffensive as possible but I’m not sure how long this will be enough.

    I’ve been wondering if continuing on Instagram is even worth it. It has been growing steadily which is encouraging but I wonder if my audience (meaning you) is even hanging out on Instagram. Please let me know in the comments if you follow me on Instagram (or if you’re not on Instagram) and where else I may be able to reach you. I’m looking for new ways to expand my reach in more kink-friendly environments.

    Besides this website, you can also find me at the following places. I haven’t been super active on them but with the Instagram account in peril, I will be devoting more attention to them.

    I truly appreciate you being here. You can also join my Kinky Ink Press VIP tribe to save 25% everything always and to be kept up to date on the latest happenings, products and writings. I only email once a week (on Friday mornings).

    xo
    ewg

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