as the sun gets lower and the nights get longer (for most of us), there is something about october that makes me want to slow down and get more intentional.
there’s almost a magic in the air as halloween looms and the whole world bursts into deep rich reds, oranges and yellows. it makes me want to turn inward, to get cozy and to examine my next steps.
as we settle in, it’s an excellent time to get more intentional with our relationships and/or power exchange dynamics, too. not necessarily with more rules or bigger scenes but with more noticing, a little more anticipation and a bit more awareness.
to help you get more intentional, i created the october kink bucket list. pick what calls to you. ignore the rest. the point is to be intentional and kinky and to strengthen your relationship/dynamic. most of all, have fun!!
the october kink bucket list
🍂 create a new evening ritual together. it could be as simple as kneeling a fre minutes before bed, choosing a new collar together, lighting candles before settling in together or doing an end of night check in.
🍂 spend one evening with low lights and no phone/tv. light some candles. put on some sensual music. simply be together. no expectations except connecting with one another.
🍂 ask each other: what have you been craving lately? be open. have no expectations. let it open a conversation. be curious. ask for details.
🍂 bring one forgotten ritual back. what did you used to do that has fallen away but was powerful when you used it? was it a title, a ritual, a rule or a specific act of service? be intentional in bringing it back into your every day life.
🍂 give your partner one small assignment for the week. it doesn’t need to be elaborate. it could be a simple task, a journal prompt, an outfit choice, a daily ritual or a rule to follow. tiny acts of structure can make a dynamic feel very alive.
🍂 plan one intentionally slow scene. talk about it beforehand. be intentional. build anticipation. decide how you want it to feel. give yourselves something to look forward to. tease it beforehand.
🍂 write down three fantasies. trade lists. be open-minded. discuss them in a light curious way. see how/if they can fit into your relationship/dynamic. maybe not “as is” but in a variation.
🍂 create a private signal. it could be a word, a touch or a look that lets the other know that you’re thinking about your dynamic. use it when you’re out in public, a sweet signal between the two of you.
🍂 spend an evening focused entirely on one sense. be it touch, scent, texture, sight, sound or temperature. sensuality gets much more interesting when you intentionally focus on heighten one sense.
🍂 tell your partner exactly what they do that makes you feel most dominant/submissive or what matter most inside your dynamic. get specific. discuss it. see how/if you can deepen it even more.
🍂 leave something provocative for them to find. it could be a sexy note, a naughty photo, a command, a promise – something in a sealed envelope, perhaps sealed with wax, that acts as a little reminder that you’re thinking of them.
🍂 choose one ordinary activity and make it part of your dynamic. it could be as simple as making the bed, cooking dinner or getting dressed. how can you bring your dynamic into these things to make them even deeper and richer?
🍂 create an october-only ritual. create a ritual that you do only this month, such as a particular scene, a particular rule or a ritual. be intentional and creative.
let me know below and/or over on our discord server which of these kinky bucket list items you’re going to try and then how it went afterwards. i created the october kink bucket checklist server where you can share!
here’s to a kinkier month with darker evenings, deeper conversations and a little more mischief.
xo
ewg
